Wednesday, November 02, 2005


I've become quite the statistic. I never update my blog. Okay, I'll try to do better for a while.

Haloween and Fitzmas have come and gone and the whole house was pretty much sick for both of them. Rex had a horrid fever/snot thing that took hold Saturday night and is still lingering a bit. I took him to school today anyway though. He wanted to go, and I really need a nap. The worst part of the illness, I think, was that he couldn't sleep, the poor guy. So I couldn't sleep, so I'm a mess.

But here's the thing. I'm a rotten mom. I KNEW he was sick, but I kept trying to get him to fall asleep by himself because I kept thinking, 'oh no! It's a new stage of no sleeping without mom rocking him and then holding him all night! We can't have that - he needs to know how to put himself to sleep!!' HE WAS SICK! What's wrong with me?

I rocked with him for one night for an hour. I slept on his floor for a while, but would sneak off to my bed when he drifted off. It would never last, he would wake up within a half hour each time. Finally, on the first bad night, I just took him into the guest room with me and we slept in the bed together for a few hours. This was the first time I'd ever slept with him like that and he's nearly 2. I'm that paranoid of rolling over or him falling off or some other terrible thing happening. It was the right thing to do though. He would still wake up every half an hour, but having me there, he would calm himself right down. Did I take this as a sign of success? Oh no. The next day I was completely paranoid that I had ruined him forever and that he would never sleep on his own again.

The next night, more tears. I would rub his back and again, curled up on the floor, but I was terrified to bring him to bed with me or rock him for hours. I'm an awful, awful person. It finally dawned on me that the kid's sinuses were probably killing him and the reason he wanted to 'wock in wocking chair?' was that it drained him out. And he got to hang with mom which is nice when you're completely miserable. I broke down and rocked him to sleep but after putting him back in the crib he started up again. At this point, I'm so tired I'm nauseated, (and thinking - so is he! so is he! HE HAS TO SLEEP - sob...) and I got B to go and rock him/comfort him.

B manages to have a conversation with him and tells him that Rex needs to sleep, that Mom needs to sleep and that Dad needs to sleep. Okay? Not a peep for 5 hours.

It was just like when he was a newborn. 5 hours felt like I had been asleep for weeks, I felt GREAT. I felt like crap again later in the day when it caught up with me, but still. It was so much better. Rex clearly benefitted too and he had a much better day yesterday. Hope today is going well.

Other things to talk about
I need a new Pediatrician

I need a job

The Democrats are finding a spine. Finally.
I can't believe that the wingnuts are actually saying that this is all politically motivated. Perjury to cover up a false case for war. Uh huh. But perjury to cover up a blow-job?? Impeachable. Whatever, I'm not excusing Clinton - the bastard lied under oath. I just can't understand how you don't see a teensy difference in the stakes.


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