Reconnecting

I've been wishing I had a space to talk about certain things that Twitter and Facebook just don't accommodate, so this seemed like a likely spot.

It's mid-November 2008. Burk's been out of work, barring a brief stop-over at a startup, for 18 months. I have been resisting going back to work, but have been sincerely looking for about 3 months now.

Lydia is almost a year and is mostly awesome. She's beginning to find a voice for her frustrations - or just beginning to get frustrated with her limitations. Two teeth, not walking yet, says 'mama, dada, alldone, and HI!"

Miles is almost 5. He's driving me nuts and really worrying me and delighting me often within a 15 minute span of time. He's experiencing stomach-aches all the time and I don't know what to do with it. I don't think he's making them or using them purely as a manipulative tool, but he's been to the doctor about them twice and nothing seems to be actually wrong. He's not eating much of anything. He's so picky it's finally sent me over the edge and I promised myself I wasn't going to be that Mom. He says about 4 times a day that he has to throw up. He never does. Sometimes he's in actual distress about it, sometimes he says it with zero affect and I have a hard time not getting mad at him about it.

Miles is really interested in guns, fighting, blood and death. 4 of my favorite subjects! He's obsessed with Star Wars, which at one time actually was a favorite subject, but now makes me want to shoot myself. Still, he's incredibly polite. He's beginning to display empathy. He's still smart as a whip and curious and interesting. His laugh is outstanding.

We've been having a hard time lately also with his attitude. He's gotten irrational (I never get to do anything I want to do...) and demanding and we're not enjoying it. We're sort of torn between coming down harder on him and giving him consequences for when he ignores us or doesn't do what we ask or just acts like a complete pain in the ass and trying harder to understand what the need is under the behavior. I'm firmly in the camp of BOTH. I think he needs the boundaries that consistently applied discipline gives to feel secure, but I also want to know what's going on with him. At Lydia's class the phrase was 'you can't fix the problem unless you fulfill the need underlying the behavior' or something like that. I agree with that, but I am not as averse to behavior mod in addition.

Lydia is just so much simpler. I keep catching myself and trying to spend more time with Miles, do more fun things with him because I'm sure he can tell how we gravitate to her and her sunny demeanor and enthusiasm. But he's entranced by it as well. Miles told me the other night that he loved me, but that he loved Lydia more. I wouldn't say I love her more, but I hear ya buddy - it's a lot easier to love Lydia. He also told me he loved me more than Dad. I tried to redirect that one. Burk is great with them both, but he's got serious tone issues with Miles. He goes from zero to PISSED OFF is .04 seconds. At least it sounds that way to Miles and to me. Miles keeps telling me that 'Dad is always mad at me and yelling at me.' As I mentioned - Miles is a big fan of "Always! and Never!" so take it with a grain of salt, but I wish Burk could ease up on the tone. I've mentioned it to him (Burk) and he's very open to changing, but...then he doesn't.

enough for now.

Things to talk about -
FEAR & money
Going back to work (and fear. And money.)
Mom (and fear and money)
Religion (and fear?)
Friends locally and far flung
Fat.
Family.

I didn't inhale for a new generation

I'm quite cranky. I've got too much to do tonight and I just want to be lazy :-(

More later, perhaps. Perhaps not. I know, this is a pathetic entry, but there you have it.

The Myth of Oppression

I'vebeen feeling this sense of dread, see. Because now that the Evangelicals seem to be on the wane a bit and the Republicans with them, here come the Democrats, and unfortunately, we seem to be dragging along our ugly cousin as well. The vocal atheists. Granted, there aren't as many ugly atheists as there are ugly evangelicals, not by a long shot, but to my mind they are just as ugly.

If I have to watch Richard Dawkins call everyone and anyone who believes in God a deluded child and/or a Nazi one more time I'm going to chew my face off. And this will be hard as well as painful since my mouth is part of my face. Clearly, I'm upset.

I couldn't quite put my finger on why they've been making me so upset and I think I figured it out tonight.

They're raining on my utopia. I want to believe that once we throw the bums out sweetness and light and bunnies will descend upon the Capitol. At least I want to believe that we can reinstate Habeas Corpus. The rise of the Crazy Atheist Shrews (CAS) gives lie to this and I just want to believe for a little bit that things will be great. Every movement has it's fringe. The Republicans have embraced their fringe so hard they have woven it back into the bulk of the fabric. WOW. THAT was one hell of a tortured image. I AM upset!

The other thing that bugs me is what I refer to in the title of this post. The myth of oppression. The crazy Evangelicals have seized and capitalized on the ridiculous notion that they are some sort of oppressed minority to amazing effect (see Christmas: War On). It is, of course, complete and utter bullshit. Dawkins is pushing the same theory. He has this rallying cry that atheists are being oppressed, driven underground, attacked! And, as he no doubt learned from the Crazy Christians, it's effective.

Now, to be fair, Dawkins probably has more truth to work with. Evangelicals have been confusing "obstacles to me imposing my religion on other people" with "suppression of my religious freedoms" for some time now. Dawkins is playing it up for the effect but it is true that, at least in some parts of the country, being a vocal atheist might just get you a punch in the head. It will definitely lose you goodwill.

I just hate victimhood as a tactic.

That's all I have to say on this for now.

NaNoBlaBlahBlah

I'm joining the throng. I'm leaping with the lemmings. I'm plodding with the herd. I'm actually going to try and post something everyday for the month of November.

Things I hope to cover. Politics, kid, marriage, family in general. Earth shattering it's not, but some truly compelling things have been written on these subjects so let's not blame them just yet, shall we?

Yesterday was a fun Halloween. M (the boy - 3 in December) was over the top excited but once he had his Fire Fighter stuff on, it was all kinda meh. He went to about 5 houses before he realized that he was in possession of candy. He wanted some Right. Then. I said, no, we'll have some when we get home or in the car ride home (we were at friends). Okay, said the boy. Let's go home. No amount of appealing to his greed or sense of adventure was successful, so we packed it in and answered the door. It was nice. Much lower key than expected, but nice.

I have a lot to say about Friend Who Raises Her Child So Differently(tm) but I will leave for now so as not to jinx my first entry.

Kiss Kiss,

Betty

uh oh

I have angered the islamic community. This should be interesting.

But what kind of mess?

Ugh. It was so depressing to be in NOLA & I'm not talking about Fats Domino bailing on performing at the Fest. So much is still in shambles and there just doesn't seem to be the will to fix it. I know it's terribly complex and I know that it was a massive blow that the city took, but New Orleanians seem to lack the requisite sense of urgency that would get it done.

If you go to Uptown you see rows of ramshackle houses that are half falling down and are propped up with duct tape. They didn't take any water and weren't too badly hit with wind, they've always looked like that. That's the "nice" part of town. It used to be charming. It used to be let the good times roll, don't worry about it, good enough is good enough. So the house is leaning to one side? Put a book of matches under it and let's go to the Quarter!

It's not charming anymore. They won't make it if they get hit again and I don't understand why they just don't get it.

A Mess

New Orleans is a mess. I don't understand it. It's like there is just no will to work up the enthusiasm to fix it.

More later.